


Silence

by OIAnni4



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Established Relationship, F/F, GIVE KARA A HUG, Is it really a major character death?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 15:58:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18781489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OIAnni4/pseuds/OIAnni4
Summary: A tragic death leaves Kara's world in silence."...But today, at this moment, Kara finally got what she wanted. She couldn’t hear a thing, not one sound; it was so peaceful, so new, and so full of sadness"-----Angst but i can't just leave it like that, so it has a bittersweet, but happy ending





	Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there.  
> I dont know. I got this idea, started writing it this morning and know it's done
> 
> This is one of my many attempts to write angst. I don't know how it will go but i hope it's not so bad. Either way, i apologize for any mistakes you might find. Enjoy the reading
> 
> I dont owe any of the characters

Silence. It was a luxury Kara Danvers was never able to afford, at least not since her pod crashed in Planet Earth. Everything was always too bright, too loud, too close; she could feel everything, and everyone, but the worse part was the noise. Noise was always the hardest to block. It was everywhere, and sometimes, even the smallest sounds were too much; it was always like that, until Jeremiah. He helped her control it, gave her the glasses, stood by her side through the hard moments, and Kara learned how to live with it, but it was never truly quiet.

But today, at this moment, Kara finally got what she wanted. She couldn’t hear a thing, not one sound; it was so peaceful, so new, and so full of sadness. Why? You may ask, well you see, the peace and quiet only came when she saw part of her world being destroyed. And no, she was not talking about Krypton, but the feelings she had at that moment… it was almost like losing her home all over again, and maybe she was. The more she thought about it, the longer she held the lifeless body in her arms, the more she realized there were few people in earth that made her feel at home: Alex, Eliza and most recently, Lena. Sweet, beautiful, smart, funny, caring… Lena had it all, and now here she was, her life taken away and Kara was unable to save her. It broke her, and now, she couldn’t hear a thing.

She saw it happen in slow motion, there was a guy running towards Lena as she fought Henshaw; Lena couldn’t move. She was tied to a chair, gag on her mouth, while looking at Kara with scared, pleading eyes. With a sudden burst of strength, Kara threw Henshaw across the warehouse and followed the shooter. He pressed the trigger twice, and Kara was able to catch both bullets and hit the man unconscious.

The blonde turned around, offered a reassuring smile to Lena who simply focus her eyes on her and all the sudden, there was red all over her clothes. Kara gasped and looked around until she spotted him, a snipper had taken a shot while she was fighting, hitting Lena right on the chest. She used her laser vision to throw him down, before she rushed to her Lena, to free her up and hold her close to her chest. Lena was trying to breath, trying to keep eyes open, trying to live.

“Help! Alex! Anyone, help!” It was chaos, with Kara not fighting, everyone’s hands were full, no one could come “Hold on for me, Lena. Please, hold on. Just a bit longer”

She kept calling for help, calling for someone as Lena’s life slipped out of her hands, her eyes fixed on Kara, slowly closing with every passing second. She tried to stop the bleeding, she tried reassuring her, she tried to hold her together until she was gone. One-minute Lena was barely breathing but fighting to stay alive and the next, nothing. It was over

Kara focused on her face, she looked so peaceful, like she was sleeping. She had always been pale, so Kara could barely see the difference; but then she would try to find her heartbeat and there was nothing. It was quiet. So quiet. Too quiet. And there was nothing she could do to change it. Her body was getting cold; she would always make fun of Lena because of her cold feet and hands, but this feeling, it was different; even more with the blood covering them both.

The blonde hung down her head and let out a cry, she could feel the tears, she could feel the sobs and cries coming out of her mouth, but she couldn’t hear it, it was like an outer experience, like she was there watching a movie that someone decide to mute. She pulled her closer, her hair was just a soft, but the smell of blood, dirt and gunpowder was strong. She didn’t care. She had lost her, she had failed, how could she look at anyone ever again when she had failed so badly.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and for a minute, hope came rushing back and made her pull back. Maybe her eyes were open, maybe the green orbs that she had learn to love would be staring back at her, but the same gory image was right in front of her. Her heart broke again, who had touch her? Then Kara looked back. Alex. She tried to focus on her sister, she really did, but all she could see were her lips moving but no sounds were coming out.  Kara shook her head, she couldn’t hear her, she didn’t understand, but she was not moving, she was going to stay right here with Lena. Lena.

Then came the fear, she saw two men wearing tactical suits approaching her as Alex held Kara by the shoulders. They were pointing at Lena, they wanted to take her, she pulled her closer. No, she was going to take her back home, make sure she had a beautiful service, no secret agency could have her body to threat it like a lab work, so she gave them a warning. She made her eyes light up, only red showing on her face, she didn’t shoot them, but she knew this would get the message across. Stay away. They looked at Alex, and Kara could tell her sister was trying to tell her something, but everything was still quiet, so quiet, and none of Alex’s words were getting to her.

And suddenly, she felt pain. Not emotional pain, not a strong type of pain; it was a small burn, an awful itch, and a familiar need to throw up. She looked to the side, Alex had used a needle with a kryptonite tip, and there was a clear liquid going inside her body. ‘Why? ‘She wanted an answer so bad, but nothing came, her eyes started to feel heavy, her body was losing balance and all she could do was look at the dead woman in her arms as everything started to go black.

“I’m sorry, Kara. I’m so sorry. You will be okay” That was the last thing she heard, that was the voice that broke the silence, and the blonde wanted to believe her sister, but there was no way she could.

*********

Everything was dark for a long time, Kara didn’t know how long, but there was nothing to see, nothing to hear, nothing to do, so she just walked. The blonde walked and walked until she saw a small light. Maybe that’s what she was looking for; so, she kept walking. As she got closer, all her senses started to work at once, she could hear voices in the background, feel and aching on her wrist, and the light? The light became too bright, all the blonde could do was whined.

Her eyes popped open, she was in a hospital bed, but this was not a hospital… and it was not the DEO, she frowned. Kara took in her surrounding and tried to sit, but a handcuff with a small glint of green was keeping her down in the bed. Smart, but it made her become more alert. Where was she? What had happened? She took a breath and close her eyes, there were some voices coming from outside her room, they were all talking. Bombs, attacks, city in flames, gunshots, Lena. Kara gasped, Lena was dead, how did she forget something like that? Lena was dead.

“Alex!” Kara called for her sister, she remembered Alex standing next to her, her sister was there, her sister took her away “Alex, I know you are there!”

The door opened and a tired looking Alex walked inside “You are awake”

“What did you do with her?” Kara asked, trying to get the handcuff off “Alex, what did you do?”

“Kara, calm down. Let me explain…”

“No, just take me to her!” She pleaded and kept moving in bed “I want to see her, what did you do?”

“Kara, listen to me! Calm down and listen to me!” Alex said as she walked closer

“I’m handcuffed to a bed with Kryptonite! Lena is dead! I can’t be calm. Let me go, Alexandra!”

“I need you to calm down so I can help you” Alex reached for her hands, but Kara kept moving around “Kara!”

“No!” Tears started falling the blonde’s face “Please take me to her, please let me go, please Alex. It hurts because she is gone, everything hurts, please”

Alex tried to talk with her sister again, but Kara’s cries only became louder as she kept trying to free herself to find Lena. Everything became background noise until she noticed her sister using a mask on her, and some sort of gas started filling her lung and making her sleepy again, she tried to fight it, she really did, but it was proving to be hard.

“We are going home, Kara. We are taking you home” Once again, her sister’s voice was the last thing she heard before everything got blurry.

The blackness was not the same, and after a bit, it was like Kara was in and out of a trance; she could recognize voices and people as they moved her around, but for some reason, she was unable to move or say something back. She tried to focus and keep her eyes open as some familiar faces went through her sight line

“I’m sorry, Kara. I didn’t mean to put you through any of this” It was a male voice, a familiar one, but all she could see was a big, red spot “It will get better soon”

“You are strong, Kara” A woman’s voice said after “Don’t let this break you. Everything will be okay”

“Get home safe, Supergirl” Another woman said “You will be okay”

Before she could react, everything was bright again, she felt dizzy, and couldn’t tell what was happening. A buzzing sound started was she could hear for what it felt like a lifetime, until there were voices again, loud, loud voices. She tried to look around, and all she could tell was that they were back at the DEO. Winn was on the phone, he looked worried, and it seemed like he was trying rush his call to get to her; James was on her side at once, lifting her from the stretcher they had been using to move her around, taking her to the med bay

Kara didn’t look at James, or anyone, simply staring at the ceiling as everything around her got settle. She was mad, frustrated even, at Alex for sedating her, allowing everyone do everything for her. All she wanted, all she needed was to get to Lena’s body. Kara needed to take care of her, give her a proper burying, say a proper goodbye. The blonde tried to talk, but nothing that came out of her mouth made any sense, all she could do was cry.

Alex appeared on her sight-line again, a worried and pained smile in face “Kara, honey. It’s okay. Trust me, everything will be okay” She told her softly while caressing her head “Get some rest, alright? The gas will wear out soon”

Kara kept crying quietly, Alex standing by her side while holding her hand “What happened?” It was Winn the first one to break the silence

“Lena was there” Alex said, and both men gasped “She died. Kara saw her die”

“Are you sure?” James asked and frowned “That’s… How? Who did it?”

“One of Lex’s men” Alex replied and shook her head “He knew it would destroy her. We won. But he knew what he was doing. It will be hard to bring her back”

“Let her see her” Winn told Alex and Kara almost started crying again. Yes, that’s all she wanted. To see Lena, even if she was not there

“We can’t. J’onn is bringing her back. I had to sedate Kara because of how upset she got” Alex kissed her forehead “I’ll take care of it for now, let her sleep. Keep making that call, Winn. We have a lot to do”

Kara blocked the rest of their talk; Alex stayed in the room with her and Kara finally gave up and fell asleep. Everything was dark again at first, but then the dream started. She was back in the warehouse, fighting Henshaw and trying to avoid the Kryptonite lasers that Lex was shooting at her. She was fighting them all over again, and just in time, Alex was there to knock out Lex and leave Kara to only worry about the Cyborg.

Then she saw her, two men pushing a wheelchair where Lena was tied up and gagged, it made her lose focus, and Henshaw took the opportunity to hit her hard “Ah, they brought your little gift out to play”

It’s just a dream, it’s just a dream, it’s just a dream. Maybe if she said it enough times, she wouldn’t have to re-live it, but nothing was happening, Lena was still there, looking scared, pleading for her life “Let her go!”

“Why would we do that? Her mother gave the green light to kill her” Henshaw said as he punched Kara again “Now all you have to do is watch her die”

And it happens again; she threw Henshaw across the room, she fought the guy and stopped two bullets, tried to stop the third one, but it was too late, Lena was bleeding all over again “I thought you would protect me. I thought you loved me… Why, Kara? Why?”

“No, no, no” Kara was crying and holding Lena again, she was gone. Gone, gone, gone.

“Kara, wake up!” Alex, Alex was there again. Alex would help

“She is dying, Alex. Help her, please help her!”

“Wake up, Kara. Wake up!” Her sister’s voice was growing stronger

Kara gasped and opened her eyes, sitting straight on the bed while screaming. She was breathing hard, tears still streaming down her cheeks “I didn’t protect her, I failed. I failed”

Alex got in bed with her and pulled Kara for a hug, ignoring James when he warned her to be careful and stay back “It’s okay, Kara. Everything will be okay. Breath with me, breath with me”

Kara tried to focus on her sister, head resting on her chest to listen to her heartbeat, trying to follow Alex’s instructions to control her breathing, to pull herself back together, to breath. It took a while, but Kara’s cries were finally stopping as she held Alex close; the blonde didn’t dare to look at Alex just yet, so she played with her shirt instead.

“I just want to say goodbye” Kara said softly, lips trembling “I was holding her, but I didn’t say anything… I just want to say goodbye, Alex”

“I know” Alex kissed her head and pulled back, trying to catch Kara’s eyes “Can you look at me? There is something I need to tell you”

Kara sniffed, taking a moment to clean her face before locking eyes with her sister “I just got her, Alex. I just proposed. And now… She is gone”

“Listen, promise that you will listen to me and do as I say, Kara” Alex replied carefully, keeping eye contact “What I’m about to tell you is big, but I need you to promise that you will listen to me”

Kara tried to read her sister’s face, but when she couldn’t get anything, she just nodded “I promise”

“J’onn is currently out on a rescue mission with Clark. Superman heard a distress call from what he thought was James’s signal watch while they were waiting for us to come back. But James was right here, it was not his watch. It was Lena’s necklace” Alex kept looking at her sister “They killed a Lena, Kara. Earth’s one Lena. Our Lena is alive, as far as we know. They are bringing her home”

“But Lex…” Kara started, already moving in bed to try and leave “Henshaw, he said…”

“They only showed Lena to us from behind that glass… then she was gagged. I thought the same… but Barry confirmed with her body that it was not her. Lena’s family from that earth went down to claim the body”

Kara got dizzy as all the information settle in her head “Is that why he… why Lex took the fight to earth one?” Kara asked with a broken tone

“As far as we know, he was looking for a weapon created there. Lena… Earth one Lena, she was just his scapegoat in case it all went south for him” Alex explained to her “Our guess is that he was working with Lillian to kidnap and hide Lena for some time, probably let you break with earth one Lena’s death, get you out of the picture, and then who knows what Lillian was going to do from there”

“But they didn’t know about the necklace…” Kara added softly and shook her head “What type of sick…? I can’t even… I need to find J’onn and Clark”

“No. You are staying here” Alex replied as she pushed back down “They found her, they will bring her back. All I need you do to is rest until they come back, alright?”

“But she was dead. Her… blood. I was cover in her blood. I need to see her” Kara said, eyes getting teary again

“Soon. Winn is talking with J’onn. Please, just rest. Trust me, we will get Lena back home” Alex said while looking at her, they stare at each other for a bit, until Kara final gave in and rest back on the bed “Thank you”

“Don’t go. Don’t go until she gets here” Kara asked softly, hugging her sister, trying to convince herself that Lena was coming back, that she would be there soon.

Kara tried to fight sleep, she didn’t want to miss Lena’s arrival, she didn’t want to face more nightmares, and she didn’t want to watch Lena die again; at the end, her body was too tired to endure it, and the blonde fell asleep. She had managed to sleep peacefully for most of the time, but through her quiet slumber, the dream started again, a replay of the events as she tried once more to save Lena. It didn’t matter if it was earth’s one Lena, it was still a version of her, so Kara fought and lost all over again, this time, all she could see was the red blood in her hands; when she woke up, she was sweating and looking frantically all over herself. With the handcuff gone, she could check herself better, and there it was, right under her nails, she saw it, red and dried.

“Alex!” Kara called as she got out of bed and looked around “Alex, get it off. There’s blood there. Get it off!”

“Kara, let me see, let me see” There was a new voice there, but all she could see was the blood

“My nails. Get it off” Kara said while showing her hands, she was quickly taken to the bathroom where she proceeded to wash her hands thoroughly “Get it off, get it off, get it off”

“Hey, hey, let me help you” The other person said, and Kara let them guide her while trying to control her breath

“I need a shower” The blonde mumbled to herself “She is all over me, all over. I need a shower”

“Hey, Kara. Kara, look at me” The person reached to hold her face carefully, worried eyes searching for something “Kara, can you see me? It’s me, Lena”

Kara took a breath when she heard the name, her eyes finally focusing on the woman in front of her “Lena” She whispered and her lip started to tremble as she pulled her for a hug “Lena, you are okay”

“I’m okay” Lena replied, holding her close and kissing her head “You are okay. We are together again”

“But she died” Kara said with a broken voice “I let her… die. And she was… it was you”

“I know, I know” Lena tried to pull her closer “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry my family did that to you” She took a breath “We will get through this, alright? Together”

“I don’t know if I’m strong enough” Kara told her softly as she sniffed “It feels wrong”

“Then let me help you. Let us help you, okay?” Lena pulled back and smile a bit “It will take time, but we will make it”

Kara nodded, hands shaking as she reached over to hold Lena’s face “I thought I’d lost you”

“I know. I’m here” Lena leaned closer and gave the blonde a soft peck “Now, how about that shower, uh?”

The blonde nodded once again, kissing Lena one more time before she pulled back to take off her clothes “Can you… Can you join me? I don’t… I just want you to hold me”

The brunette smiled softly, nodding as she started getting undress “Anything you need”

They took their time getting undress, but Kara couldn’t bring herself to look at her fiancee, who didn’t force her when she notice how tense she was; instead, Lena took her hand once they were ready and got the blonde under the shower, helping her wash up silence. Kara was able to relax through the whole process, enjoying how careful and loving Lena was being with her; the intimacy of the moment made her feel warm again, and she let herself believe that they might be okay.

Once done, they got dressed again, and Kara could feel a little bit of the weight leaving her body as she smiled at Lena “I… Thank you. I needed that”

“Let’s get you to bed. Alex said we will stay for the night, tomorrow, we go home” Lena said, kissing her cheek, walking back to the med bay with Kara by the hand

“Did they hurt you?” Kara asked softly, sitting down on the bed that was settle for them

Lena shook her head “It was strange. I knew mother was up to something. She locked me in a cell. One guard, no more”

Kara sighed “She probably knew I was gone… It all happened so fast. One moment we were getting a distress call from Barry… Next thing I know, we were pulled to earth one, right to the battle zone with everyone else, and then… it… I…”

Lena moved closer to Kara and kissed her neck “We don’t have to talk about it yet”

“I know” She offered a weak smile “I’m just… I’m glad you are okay”

“Me too” Lena squeezed her hand “And when you are ready, I’m right here”

Kara hummed in acknowledgment, playing a bit with Lena’s hand “Can we just… cuddle for a bit?”

Lena didn’t answer, simply moving to lay down on the bed, opening her arms for the blonde who quickly got comfortable against her chest, desperately searching for her heartbeat. They stayed like that for a while, Lena running he fingers through the blonde’s hair while Kara whole focus was on the woman next to her, and it almost felt okay again. She could almost forget, but then Lena stretched, her cold feet hitting Kara’s, making a new set of tears run down her cheeks.

“What happened?” Lena asked carefully, Kara just shook her head “Alright. Just let it out then, I’m right here”

Kara took a breath and let herself calm down. It took her a couple of minutes, but once she was able to make the tears stop again, she looked up “I-I’m sorry”

“Don’t” Lena kissed her nose softly “You told once, never apologize for your feelings”

The blonde nodded and closed her eyes “It… You… She was cold. And I couldn’t stop thinking about your dumb cold feet, and how much I would miss them” She let out a tearful laugh “She was cold”

Lena didn’t know what to say, instead, she kissed her forehead “I could kill Lex myself for doing this to you”

“Then he would win” Kara replied and opened her eyes to look back at her “You are better than that”

“Not when someone I love gets hurt”

“Yeah” Kara reached to touch her face “I was… I was thinking that maybe…”

“Maybe what?” Lena asked softly when Kara stopped talking

“I love you. So much” Her eyes got teary once again “But maybe we should take a step back… It’s not safe. This is why I didn’t tell you sooner, I didn’t want something like this to… A version of you died in the universe because of a vendetta against Supergirl, so maybe if we were not… not together, it would…”

“Don’t finish that” Lena cut her off, finding the blonde’s eyes “My brother, and anyone that tries to hurt us, is responsible for his actions. If we do that, if we let them break us… that’s truly when they win. I love you; you love me. We are not letting them get between us, okay? I will fight for this, and I will only stop if you tell me there is no love there anymore. Please don’t give up, please fight with me. I won’t be easy, but it’ll be worthy”

“I just don’t know if it’s worth your life” Kara said with a small smile “I love you enough to let you go, to protect you. Lex would leave you alone if we just… if he thought you hate me for breaking your heart”

“I would never be able to hate you” Lena replied, serious look in face “Listen Kara, I’m not saying something like this won’t happen again. Next time, it could be your life on the line. But if we think like that, we will never live. I love you. You love me. Please, fight with me. We are getting married, and this won’t make me pack up and leave”

“You are too good” She sighed “I’m sorry, you are right. I can’t wait to call you my wife. But it will be hard… I don’t know how long it will take for me to get over the feeling of… losing you”

“There is no rush, love” Lena pulled her closer and kissed her softly “I didn’t say yes when you proposed, only thinking about the good times, I said yes… knowing there would be moments like this, when one would need to be strong for the other. Moment when we would hurt. And if I can do anything, just let me know”

“I can’t believe there is a Universe that lost someone as awesome as you” Kara whispered softly “I love you, so much”

“I love you too. We will figure this out” Just as Lena said that, the door opened, making both turn towards the door

“Hey there, you are awake” Alex said with a smile “I’m just checking in, how are you?”

Kara looked from her sister to Lena “I don’t feel like someone took a piece of me anymore, I guess that’s good”

Alex nodded a bit “I talked to J’onn; we both believe you should take some time off. They are also making the DEO’s psychologist available in case you want to talk to her”

“I will take the vacations” Kara replied, hiding her face on Lena’s neck “I will think about the psychologist, yeah?”

“That’s all I ask” Alex bit her lip “I also got you some pills that might help you sleep, if you keep having problems”

“Problems?” Lena asked as she looked down at Kara

“I fell asleep twice... nightmares”

“So, you can take one if you really think it’s needed” Alex added as she gave Lena the small bottle “There’s ten there”

“Thank you, Alex” Lena said as she took the bottle “First thing in the morning, she is good to go, and she is officially off duty, correct?

“That’s right. Take her away”

“I want to go to a place” Kara said, pulling back a bit to look at Ale “But you would need to make a call”

“Where?” Alex asked curious, looking back at Lena who simply shrugged

“I want to… You said there was… Her family picked up the b-body. I want to go to the…” Kara stopped and took a breath “The funeral. I want to pay respect”

“Kara…” Lena said with a worried tone, pulling her wife close “I don’t think…”

“I was the last person that saw her, the last person she saw. The one holding her… I want to pay respect”

Alex tried to fight the blonde but just sighed, shaking her head “I will call Barry. But I don’t agree with this”

Lena made a face “Kara…”

“Thank you, Alex” Kara said simply as she pulled back and got out of bed “Now if you excuse me, I will… do stuff”

“Kara, please” Lena called, Alex hesitated a moment but decided to leave the room and give them some time alone “Can we talk about this?”

“I can’t ignore it. I didn’t say anything to her. I thought it was you, and not even that made me come up with something… And she died. She bleed out in my arms, Lena. And she had your face” Kara took a breath “You said anything I need. I need this… You don’t even have to come. It would be weird anyways since you… but I have to”

Lena sighed and moved closer, wrapping her arms around the blonde from behind, kissing her neck “Alright, love”

Kara finally relaxed, leaning back against her “Thank you. After that, we can go. You can even decide where”

Lena nodded and pulled the blonde back to bed. Kara got comfortable to cuddle her fiancée, taking the time to enjoy Lena’s presence there. Things were not going to be easy, it would take a while for her to get back to where she was before, for her to feel the same way; but as she closed her eyes and focused on Lena’s heart, strong and alive like it should be, Kara tried to remember two things: They were okay, and they were together. The rest? They would figure it out. For now, all Kara wanted was to keep Lena close and protected. For now, that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> You made it to the end! Loved it? Hate it? Let me know!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and well... See you around


End file.
